I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
