Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i believe in u and ur pee
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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