yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
