I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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