Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
