she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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