I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm always down for nudity.
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