I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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