im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
