I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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