hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
