If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize