A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
