Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
