I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
