: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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