Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
