honey bunches of taint.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
