is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
