from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
