Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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