ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I love having hate sex.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize