I'm passing your future prison.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize