This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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