hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I cut my penus on the lid.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
