Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
