All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
