Im at strip club and am horny
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
