yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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