do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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