He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
even my farts smell like vagina
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
