Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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