Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
