Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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