dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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