anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
