Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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