did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
