yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize