I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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