she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
