i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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