Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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