Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I enjoy the company of your penis
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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