sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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