she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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