How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
