wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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