Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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