My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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