I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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