i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
