period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
