The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
