I've blown a few things in my day
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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