Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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