I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
