omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I cut my penus on the lid.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
