i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wear drunk well.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
