I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
