OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
where am i from again
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
